Dear Li Ya

Dear Li Ya,

You're turning four months old next week and I'm a little sad about it.  These first few months with you have been heavenly.  I will miss the newborn you.

You wake up from sleep so hungry and angry. But somehow, when I set you down for your diaper change, you look up at me, put aside your hunger, and smile.  Then, when I bring you close for a feeding, you start snorting like a panicky piglet anticipating its breakfast.  It's the most perfect snort in the world.

You are the easiest smiler.  All anyone has to do for a smile is look at you and a smile starts to form, small and closed-mouthed at first and then big and open. Your cheeks are especially kissable then, and my kisses only make you smile bigger.  You are pure sunshine.

You slept through the night around six weeks old, and mothering four children became much less daunting from that point on.  Thank you for that.  However, you stopped sleeping through the night around ten weeks.  I anticipated that.  Mi Na did the same thing.  It was a pretty rough adjustment to go from a full night's sleep to being woken up four or five times each night.  Again.  You've settled back into waking just once a night, which is doable.

People like to comment on your eyes.  Two perfect almond shapes, so big in comparison to your little nose and mouth, except when you smile and your mouth gets so big that your eyes disappear. You look like all of your siblings, but still different.  

I love how you bring your hands together at the center of your chest, like you're praying.   I can't remember any of your siblings doing that.  

You take an early evening nap most days.  It helps a lot when I'm putting your siblings to bed.  And when it's just you and me, we stare at each other, exchanging smiles and coos.  Your cooing is the most heavenly sound.  You're gifted for sure. :)  

Thank you for coming to us, Li Ya.  It is an honor to be your mother.  

Love,
Mom

Gratitude

Dear Mi Na,

Thank you for letting me get more sleep than Mei Li or Stephen ever let me get at your age.


Thank you for eating well.

Thank you for entertaining the whole family with your grunts, hiccups, and funny faces.

Thank you for reminding us to be soft and gentle.


Thank you for making life even more beautiful than it was.


How did we ever live without you?

Last but not least

At exchange 30 of the Ragnar Relay, our van was done. Steve brought the kids to meet me there, and boy did I miss my family.

Mei Li and Stephen ran up to me and gave me big hugs. It was the loveliest, warmest feeling. I love and need those children of mine. They love and need me, and that is what life is all about.

And my Steve! To be with him again was heavenly.

Darling,

"You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it."
~Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Thank you for my wings. I love you.

Love,
Me

Baby guy, I love you.

Baby guy is turning out to be quite the charmer. He and Mei Li recently attended a Young Women's pool party with me, and he stole a couple of teenage girls' hearts there.

He's also getting a little feisty, which I don't always appreciate, but it's funny some of the time.

Monday night, Steve and I put Mei Li to bed and then played with Stephen for a half hour. We wait until Mei Li is asleep to put him to bed. We sang a song to him outside of their room, and when it was over, he willingly leaned over to give his Papa a kiss. I happily puckered up for my kiss, but Stephen just looked at me with his face full of attitude and said, "What?" He was not asking for clarification. It was like the "what" in the question, "what are you looking at?"

Me: Can I get my kiss?

BG: What?

Me: Kiss?

BG: What? What? What? What?

Finally, he relented. My feelings were hurt, though.

Dear Baby guy,

I'm sorry if I did something to offend you. There will be times when you won't like me, especially when I tell you not to do things or remove you from "fun" (dangerous) situations, but everything I do is because I love you. So so so much. I'm so grateful to have you in this family. You are my angel.

Love,
Mama

She turned three.

My baby Mei turned three a while ago. I've put off writing this post because I have a lot to say. So here goes.

Dear Mei Li,

Happy birthday, my darling. It's sad and exciting how quickly time goes by. I have loved being your mother and I'm grateful that we get to be together forever because frankly, eternity sounds a little boring without my little firecracker.


I recently met a Chinese woman who gave me new insight into your name. Literally, mei means eyebrow and li means beautiful. Mei is the character in your grandmother's and aunt's name. My mother told me that mei also means joy because when you raise your eyebrows, you are joyful. This woman told me that this mei can also mean charming. My dear sweet Mei, you have charm in spades. I've witnessed you bravely walk up to unfamiliar adults and charm them with your sweetness and spunk.


I remember one time, we were leaving Borders bookstore and instead of just walking, you pranced out of the store. A woman entering the store told me, "she looks like she has a lot of pizzazz." Pizzazz, spunk, charm, joy, whatever you want to call it, is your gift, a gift you can use for good.

Your father, your brother, and I all love you very much. Stephen always asks for you when you're not around, "Where Mei Ni go?" You have Papa wrapped around your little finger, and you have become a best friend to me.

I want to talk about the second part of your name, Li. It is the character in my name, meaning beautiful. Physical beauty, although extremely valued by the world, it is not something on which you should base your worth. You are physically beautiful because you have a healthy body with which God has blessed you, but more importantly, you are beautiful and of infinite worth because you are a daughter of a Heavenly King. You are a princess. Please remember that, my sweet Mei Li.

Thank you for the love you give so freely everyday, thank you for bringing so much joy into our home, and thank you for being you.

I love you.

Love,
Mama