Thank goodness April is here.

I just reread my last post about March getting off to a great start.  I find it a little funny how positive I sounded.  March turned out to be one of the most dismal months I've ever lived through.


But before I get into that, my friend, Leanna, and her daughter, Azaleia, came to visit me in early March.  The highlights included a trip to the Udvar-Hazy Air and Space Museum, our Anne of Green Gables marathon, and our visit to Jessica T., a mutual friend of ours. Thank you for coming, Leanna.  We had so much fun with you!


Also, I went to traffic court with my brother-in-law, Ken, as my lawyer.  He did such a good job proving my innocence in the pre-trial discussions with the prosecutor, that we didn't even have to go to trial!  I loved it when the judge said, "you are free to go."   Thank you, Ken, for lightening my burden. 


Things started to go downhill when Ie Ling came up with other plans for employment.  Mi Na and Mei Li caught a stomach bug, I had a urinary tract infection and really bad allergies.  Steve was busy at work.  But most of all, I was overcome by a deep sadness, which source thankfully lies outside of my husband and children.  But the sadness devoured me.  And all the rest just made it really difficult for me to function.  


I guess the story isn't complete without me announcing, probably a bit too early, that I'm nine weeks pregnant.  I am really, truly happy about it, but it is weird how much of a burden such happy news is for the first few months when you consider the vomiting and exhaustion.  


One of my dearest friends, Heather S., once said that she could picture her unborn children rooting for her to pull through hard times and make good choices.  I believe their exact words were, "Come on, Mom! We need you!"


So yesterday afternoon, while my children watched TV and I rested on the couch, I felt something stir within me.  It was certainly too early for me to feel this baby move, but it was a reminder that this little one is counting on me to pull through the sadness and sickness.  And so were my three little couch potatoes.  I felt this overwhelming love for these little people and started to cry.  I knew I needed to close my sad chapter, especially when the circumstances are completely out of my control.


I woke up before my kids this morning and took a shower for the first time in four days.  I put on some makeup and got dressed.  I didn't do my hair, but I'm taking baby steps here.


I took the kids to the mall for some shopping.  I purchased two knit maxi skirts and a pair of lounge pants for comfort.  I purchased an Easter dress for Mei because sewing something is out of the question at this point.  Mi Na's Easter dress will come from the pile of new hand-me-downs.  Stephen said he didn't want new clothes for Easter.  I purchased $7 sunglasses for me so I could feel like a new woman.  I bought Mei Li the fedora just because she asked me to, and I didn't see a reason not to.  


We bought lunch at the food court, went on a carousel ride, and ended our trip with cupcakes.  It wasn't a totally smooth outing, but I'll count getting out of the house as a victory.  

I still feel like junk physically, but I know it is temporary, and I have never, even through March 2012, lost sight of how truly blessed I am.