I wrote an anniversary post back in December. Many of you read it, but I unpublished it. I wrote it late at night, and when I read it the next day, I felt that it was not at all what I wanted to say about our marriage for our anniversary. So this is anniversary post-take two.
When Steve and I were dating, there was one thing missing that I thought should exist in every relationship: DRAMA.
You better believe that I tried to create some. But I've learned that creating drama around Steve is like trying to start a fire in pouring rain. I was an emotional girl and drama followed me everywhere, and it puzzled me that it would stop when Steve was near. I once came to the conclusion that Steve was "boring," and yet I couldn't wait until we could text, talk, or meet next.
Every one of my frustrations or tears were extinguished with his gentle apologies or kind reassurances. He had this amazing ability to clear the sky of clouds and have the sun shining in minutes (after first putting out the fire, of course. He's Superman, remember?)
Our marriage, like our courtship, is pretty drama-free. But there are times when it is so clear to us that we have to be better. Steve and I have talked a lot about change and improvement since being married. People say that you shouldn't marry someone expecting to change them. But what they don't say, and what I have found, is that with enough love and soft-enough hearts, people want to change and improve for one another. This process is not always fun, but always leads to something better.
This changing is the work that comes with marriage. It is a joyful work and we're doing it together. Marriage is beautiful, and though not perfect, we have eternity to get there.
Will there be trials and tragedy for us down the road that test me, Steve, our marriage, and our family? Certainly. But I have lots of faith, and I know that there is a happy ending waiting for us. I have faith in God, faith in Steve, and faith in myself. The three of us can do anything together.
*photos by Jonathan Canlas
When Steve and I were dating, there was one thing missing that I thought should exist in every relationship: DRAMA.
You better believe that I tried to create some. But I've learned that creating drama around Steve is like trying to start a fire in pouring rain. I was an emotional girl and drama followed me everywhere, and it puzzled me that it would stop when Steve was near. I once came to the conclusion that Steve was "boring," and yet I couldn't wait until we could text, talk, or meet next.
Every one of my frustrations or tears were extinguished with his gentle apologies or kind reassurances. He had this amazing ability to clear the sky of clouds and have the sun shining in minutes (after first putting out the fire, of course. He's Superman, remember?)
Our marriage, like our courtship, is pretty drama-free. But there are times when it is so clear to us that we have to be better. Steve and I have talked a lot about change and improvement since being married. People say that you shouldn't marry someone expecting to change them. But what they don't say, and what I have found, is that with enough love and soft-enough hearts, people want to change and improve for one another. This process is not always fun, but always leads to something better.
This changing is the work that comes with marriage. It is a joyful work and we're doing it together. Marriage is beautiful, and though not perfect, we have eternity to get there.
Will there be trials and tragedy for us down the road that test me, Steve, our marriage, and our family? Certainly. But I have lots of faith, and I know that there is a happy ending waiting for us. I have faith in God, faith in Steve, and faith in myself. The three of us can do anything together.
*photos by Jonathan Canlas
9 comments:
I've never heard it put so perfectly... Change is never easy, but when you do it for someone you love more than anything, it is always worth it. Marriage is a perpetual work-in-progress, which I think happens to be one of the best things about it :) Happy Anniversary!
Haha, I was signed in under my hubby's account I guess... This is actually Kelly, not Shaun :)
Lovely, Ie Li. I think drama-free is a really good base upon which to build a marriage. And you two look wonderful together!
Great post and beautiful pictures of you two!! Happy Anniversary :)
i don't think i've ever associated you with drama! maybe because you had steve's picture hanging over your bed even before you were married so he was already putting out flames then :) you are so inspiring. please move to AZ!!
Loved this post! I want to read the unpublished post now, too, though. I know what you mean about writing something that you decide later is all wrong. You guys are so perfect together. I love what you said about changing together, for each other. I am feeling so inspired!
ps you look especially gorgeous in these photos! love them!
Ditto on the gorgeous photo comments. Love the first one where Steve is laughing. It is contagious. Inspiring post. Well said. What a gift to keep your cool when all around you are losing it.
There should be growth in every marriage, and that always requires change. I loved this post.
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